I'm Back

I'm back! If anybody is wondering why, here:
I fell asleep quite painfully, as I had my hands tied to my ponytail, which is a piece of rope that has been glued to the back of my head (long story) and I was sitting on my bed, which as all of you should know, is made of three materials. Yes, THREE. Anyway, the three materials are: highly toxic radiated milk that has been frozen, wooden springs, and thread. So I fell asleep. I had just eaten a gigantor peep (after reading Henfree's post on peeps) and in order to stop me from eating more, my pet opossum tied my hands to my ponytail, and plopped my onto my bed. I immediately fell into a severe sugar coma, lasting three months. Then I woke up. I was so surprised to finally wake up that I rolled off my bed, into a lake. I promptly hit my head on a rock and drowned. I awoke in a strange place, full of light. I found a knife on the ground, and stabbed the nail on my middle toe on my left foot. It didn't hurt at all. I was in heaven. OMG (Oranges, mangoes, and guavas) I'M DEAD! So I walked along, and eventually found an old wizened man on the side of the road (wait, I was walking on a road). He was trying to strangle his thumb! I freaked out! I jumped toward him, missed, and fell into a river, in which I hit my head on a rock and drowned. I woke up in my own bedroom.

So there's why I've been gone for so long: I ate a giant peep, fell into a coma, drowned, went to heaven, drowned in heaven, and came back to earth. Anyway, I'm back!

REJOICE! Hallelujah, Hallelujah! Hip Hip Hooray! Woo Hoo!
Well, good-bye, and if you ever see a giant peep, DON'T LET YOURSELF BE TEMPTED TO STAY AWAY! EAT IT, or else......................................bananas!